I know, I’m flakey

I’m fully aware that I promised to write loads last time I put my stubby little fingers to the keyboard and that hasn’t happened.

My problem is when I’m motivated I plan so much and then all motivation falls off the cliff the plans go with it. But I’m here now and better late than never, right? To be honest, since lockdown 1 I’ve had trouble feeling like my words are coherent. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling a bit disconnected from their brain. There’s been changes here, I started uni in September/October. I’m doing contemporary art practice which sounds fancier than it actually is. The course is quite fun but obliviously doing an art degree at home doesn’t really work and its frustrating not being able to use the facilities but hopefully soon we’ll get to touch things. Goose is mostly the same, looking more like a teenager everyday. Theres a new sofa, new book shelves coming and theres plants everywhere.

I’m here if you wanted, http://www.instagram.com/wellswellsandwells/

There will be another post really soon, like tomorrow soon because I have something else to share but it needs a bit more space.

ok, bye.

Too many words.

I’ve been trying to write a blog post for weeks. Every time I start, I hate what I’ve written and delete the whole thing. Nothing feels natural, my words don’t flow like they should. If you’re following me on Instagram www.instagram.com/wellswellsandwells/?hl=en you’ll know I’ve been working a little with text from newspapers.

I guess they’re poems.

Cutting out words and sentences that catch my eye. It’s low pressure creativity and helpful to not lose momentum. Anyway, back to the constipated writing process, I realised yesterday that I had been struggling to access my words because I’ve been too busy collecting other peoples. This isn’t exclusive to my plastic wallet of weird word combinations. It extends to the social media and mainstream media I’m exposing myself to, as though I couldn’t sort my own thoughts and feeling from the mostly pleasurable and informative daily barrage of voices. I’m gonna meditate every day (just for a short amount of time) in the hopes that my voice will stay the loudest.

A bit different but mostly the same.

Blonde girl standing on a rock in a stream.

As you can see I’ve made a little change. It’s probably quite a big change but right now it feels slight. I’ve not renewed the website and instead I’m gonna embark on blogging more frequently. Yes, you’re right in thinking that I pledge to write more every time I pull my finger out and do some. This time will be different (yes, you’ve probably heard that before as well) The truth is I have drifted away from things that excite me. I love learning and thinking, developing ideas and the discussions that lead to them. I guess I got lazy, comfortable and that grew into anxiety. There are so many voices trying to b e heard, so many people talking about their experiences and lives that me waffling on didn’t feel important. But it’s important,for me,my progression as a person and as an artist. It’s important that I step into where i’m going. Right now i’m feeling nervous but ready to be brave. Rachael x